In Pictures: Susan Boyle’s Future in Hollywood

First, she’ll get the Carnie Wilson gastric bypass surgery…

…followed by the even riskier “eyebrow bypass surgery”.

Then she dates John Mayer.

There’s always this incident…

Then she puts out a gangster rap album, “Frumpystyle,” featuring the hit single, “Frumpshaker”.

Then comes the night-vision sex tape.

Then the inevitable drug-fuelled melt-down in front of the paparazzi…

…and the midnight snacking

She adopts a baby from an exotic foreign country, Wales.

Next, of course, Scientology.

And finally — the cover story:

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